Endings and Firsts
I am ending my blog tonight.
I've been meaning to do this for a while, actually. That's why I haven't been writing anything lately, I've been trying to figure out how to end it.
Of course, this doesn't mean my life is ending. This blog hasn't really been about my entire life, just a few short moments and events that have stayed with me. So don't worry, even if the blog is over, my life is still going on somewhere.
A few things I would like to depart with:
->I never saw Emily again after the night she ran away.
->Blue is still going to the middle school, so I'll see him next year.
->The Other John's middle name is Felix. Why haven't I called him that, you may wonder. I am wondering this myself.
->Also, The Other John is going out with Hollie, the incredibly sweet girl I mentioned in "Green Spiders". They will last forever.
->Savannah is ten years old now.
->Tyler and I had a campout in his backyard. It was pretty sweet.
->Logan will be famous for playing the guitar someday. Look for him.
->John and I are still together.
->My sister and her fiance are married.
->Cody apologized to me at a football game one night, so we are friends now.
->Monique and William Thain broke up.
As well as this story:
In the fifth grade, Tyler, Josh Menedez, me, and everyone else in the fourth, fifth, and third grades that had gotten enough Accelerated Reader points went on a field trip to Time-In.
Time-In was a souped up Chuck E. Cheese. It had a larger arcade and more play equipment. It even had two slides. It was the field trip that everyone looked forward to all year.
Josh Menendez was my boyfriend, and that day he was going to kiss me. I knew this because he, Tyler, and I had planned it out.
When we got there, we all climbed to the tunnel where the two slides began. The plan was that he was going to kiss me and then we were both going to slide down different slides, so that nobody would see us and we wouldn't get in trouble.
"Ok, now," Tyler said, looking down the tunnel to make sure no one was coming.
Josh and I both hesitated. My stomach felt queasy, and I was sweating. I walked over to the edge of the tunnel to make absolutely certain that nobody was going to come.
"What are you waiting on?" Tyler asked. "Hurry up and do it, somebody's gonna come."
I didn't do anything. I stood by the tunnel with a worried look on my face.
Tyler was almost laughing. "Hurry, do it now, come on."
Josh was laughing nervously, and he looked a little helpless. I tried to smile at him. I felt bad because I felt like I was making him feel uncomfortable.
"Well, uh... I..." I said.
He kept urging us to hurry. I walked back to where Josh stood and looked at him.
Tyler checked down the tunnel one final time. "Okay... now!"
Josh grabbed my hand and kissed me on the cheek. He did so with lightning speed. Then we both leapt into separate slides and flew down them.
When I climbed out of the slide, I walked through the arcade, then up the stairs toward the goofy golf area. When I got to the top of the steps, I ran into Josh.
"Oh, uh, hey," he said.
We played around in the arcade for the rest of the day, until we had to board the buses to go back to the school. We had fun.
He broke up with me at the beginning of the sixth grade, and I refused to sit next to him in science class.
But I suppose good things can't last forever. Not all of them, at least.
I've been meaning to do this for a while, actually. That's why I haven't been writing anything lately, I've been trying to figure out how to end it.
Of course, this doesn't mean my life is ending. This blog hasn't really been about my entire life, just a few short moments and events that have stayed with me. So don't worry, even if the blog is over, my life is still going on somewhere.
A few things I would like to depart with:
->I never saw Emily again after the night she ran away.
->Blue is still going to the middle school, so I'll see him next year.
->The Other John's middle name is Felix. Why haven't I called him that, you may wonder. I am wondering this myself.
->Also, The Other John is going out with Hollie, the incredibly sweet girl I mentioned in "Green Spiders". They will last forever.
->Savannah is ten years old now.
->Tyler and I had a campout in his backyard. It was pretty sweet.
->Logan will be famous for playing the guitar someday. Look for him.
->John and I are still together.
->My sister and her fiance are married.
->Cody apologized to me at a football game one night, so we are friends now.
->Monique and William Thain broke up.
As well as this story:
In the fifth grade, Tyler, Josh Menedez, me, and everyone else in the fourth, fifth, and third grades that had gotten enough Accelerated Reader points went on a field trip to Time-In.
Time-In was a souped up Chuck E. Cheese. It had a larger arcade and more play equipment. It even had two slides. It was the field trip that everyone looked forward to all year.
Josh Menendez was my boyfriend, and that day he was going to kiss me. I knew this because he, Tyler, and I had planned it out.
When we got there, we all climbed to the tunnel where the two slides began. The plan was that he was going to kiss me and then we were both going to slide down different slides, so that nobody would see us and we wouldn't get in trouble.
"Ok, now," Tyler said, looking down the tunnel to make sure no one was coming.
Josh and I both hesitated. My stomach felt queasy, and I was sweating. I walked over to the edge of the tunnel to make absolutely certain that nobody was going to come.
"What are you waiting on?" Tyler asked. "Hurry up and do it, somebody's gonna come."
I didn't do anything. I stood by the tunnel with a worried look on my face.
Tyler was almost laughing. "Hurry, do it now, come on."
Josh was laughing nervously, and he looked a little helpless. I tried to smile at him. I felt bad because I felt like I was making him feel uncomfortable.
"Well, uh... I..." I said.
He kept urging us to hurry. I walked back to where Josh stood and looked at him.
Tyler checked down the tunnel one final time. "Okay... now!"
Josh grabbed my hand and kissed me on the cheek. He did so with lightning speed. Then we both leapt into separate slides and flew down them.
When I climbed out of the slide, I walked through the arcade, then up the stairs toward the goofy golf area. When I got to the top of the steps, I ran into Josh.
"Oh, uh, hey," he said.
We played around in the arcade for the rest of the day, until we had to board the buses to go back to the school. We had fun.
He broke up with me at the beginning of the sixth grade, and I refused to sit next to him in science class.
But I suppose good things can't last forever. Not all of them, at least.
posted by Diary of a Ghost at 6:27 PM
5 Comments:
It sucks that you have decided to stop writing here... but I am glad I had the short time to read your stories...
take care... and keep safe...
The myth of the eternal return. I got your message but I am too late http://true-enemy.blogspot.com It took six months to persuade Gladstone to send relief to Khartoum, six months for the troops to fight their way down the Nile. We arrived two days after the assassination of General Gordon. Tyler not there. Awaiting further instructions.
What throws me is your grammar. Present continuous instead of simple present. I am ending not I end. Then the past perfect instead of an aorist more words when less would be more accurate. Then all this talk of death that isn't death.
Now a literary tracker could find the body, two hobbits lay here, they were bound, they crawl this way. But it's a bit like lip reading only when you try to do it that it isnt as easy as it looks.
Why two genres so close together. If this were scripture they'd say a redactor stitched together two sources one a priestly line using lists and formulae another song gatherer telling a story. Then the text is defaced by later interpolations, scribes who really don't understand, but then what would they make of bollywood.
It behooves me serioulsy to register my protest at your leaving with lingering grammar. This is exactly what i mean about women. They don't even need to wear perfume.
Oh I figured out why people never come back to tell you about how wonderful heaven is, if it's so wonderful why would anyone leave it even only for a moment, thing to worry about is if someone comes back and says yeah it's really wonderful come in for a dip, what then sister, exactly what I am thinking, what else. So anyway.
So go then.
Thank you.
I wanted to say also that if any reader is particularly desperate to read more of my works, I have a blog on that "Myspace" thing. I don't approve anyone to be my friend unless I already know who they are, so you might have a problem unless you send me a subliminal message, like making your name something in reference to blog reading temporarily, because that's all I have to go on when deciding who to approve or not.
So anyhow, I give you one hint as to how to find me: aquatic.
And I'm not quite sure why anyone would want to read my works so badly, and I'm also not quite sure why I'm making it so difficult... I am sorry.
Thanks again.
why do poor blacksmith apprentices travel to the farthest end of a world seeking out strange companions to defeat an all powerful dwagon forget the dragon you are sitting by a blazing fire why would you leave and go out into the freezing fog that early in the morning,
i say if more people were like you i'd stay in this godforsaken wasteland, i can find out within two seconds what smudging is but the one thing I know if you really want to make good roast potatoes you need time, days not hours, in fact i may try to seek you out just to see how difficult it is but if i succeed given that BT should cut me off any instant I shall be most disappointed.
so a treasure hunt is it tally ho
There's many things I could say about this. Many that would hurt to say, and many things that I could not type without laughing.
I remember when I first found this blog. How obsessed I was with it, and what a wonderful person you were. For the first time, it had seemed like I had found a person who may understand me.
And after a long chain of emails, I met Tyler. And through a chain of emotion, varying in saddness, happiness, regret, and hate, I find myself sitting here, crying as I read this. Crying my heart out because this blog is by far the most beautiful thing I have ever read. Crying because it brings back so many happy memories that are gone forever into the blanket of enternity.
Crying because I never wanted it to end. Crying because I didn't suspect it would, and crying because I knew it would end all along.
And as I sit here, crying, thinking, and typing, all alone in this empty, sad house of mine, I cannot but help wish that I could talk to you. To wish that one day, I would see you, and have perhaps coffee, or tea, as we chat about things as if nothing has ever changed.
And in the back of my mind, I believe that one day, I will meet you. I will meet you, and Tyler, and I'll be able to talk to you and tell you things that I never could before.
It's amazing how fast the human mind can make it's pyhsical self to stop crying. And it's amazing that some of the times, it is completely impossible.
My father once told me that people fade away quickly. People who seem so damn important to you one day, and then all of the sudden, they are nothing but an obscure memory.
God, I hope that never happens to you and me. And if I dare use your real name on here, exposing you forever, Marina, I love you more then my own sister. I love you more then a sister, I should say. You have become part of me, and who I am, something that can never, ever be changed.
I cannot explain why I feel so sad right now. Maybe I'm happy. I'll never know.
One day, Marina, I shall see you, and talked to you, and hug you, and cry and laugh with you. Maybe not for several years. But one day, some day, it'll happen. I'll make sure of it.
And as this book of our lives closes, as the last page turns, we find a blank page. A page neither you or I can fill in. A page that no one but nature can write, of the mystieries that we are not even aware off.
I'm trying my best to say good bye, but it's hard, knowing that I will probably talk to you soon. But as this extended goodbye comes to a close; as a last tear falls down my cheek; as my mind is full of thoughts that I cannot figure a way to type, I somehow miss you.
But as you did say to me, long ago, the Faithful Words Of Marina that I will never forget: That pain comes in when you open your soul up, along with the love, the joy, the evil, the truth and the lies, the hate, the hope, the letdown, and the anything and everything that slips in between all of those things.
But it's still beautiful, isn't it?
^_^
Post a Comment
<< Home